Femme Flavor

Dear QR,

I haven’t said this much but I look at you and beam. You are a plant that has blossomed in the pot you were placed in. Yesterday I spent time with a great woman names Justina K.S attending a masterclass on gardening and one of the things she emphasised was that a plant can only truly thrive in its natural habitat and a pot isn’t it. It could be In soil or on a tree for orchids and the old man’s beard.

When I met you, you were lanky and so full of life. You wanted the things you touched to be successful. Quickly you rose through the ranks and soon became a household name. Transitions happened, marriage, a child, name recognition name it at a tender age and all received with outmost humility.

The pot can no longer contain you. And just like a baby in the womb, there comes a time you can no longer be held by your current habitat because of exponential growth and you have to be expelled. It is uncomfortable which is why a baby cries. It is why some plants even wither with this new relationship with the soil. Suddenly there are many more pests to contend with, the ground is not controlled, there is sunlight to reach out for and space to occupy.

You were born for a time as this and whereas you may be afraid, which is perfectly fine, it is time for a new season.

The new season will come with both challenges and opportunities but it will be the growth that you must celebrate through the uncertainty of the changing seasons. The activities in the summer do not in any way mean that there will be none in the winter. Adapt QR, adapt to the new season.

What I am thankful for is that God has blessed you immensely that like very few people I know, you are marked with His favkr and will thrive wherever your feet shall settle. Don’t be in a hurry to make the first picks, whichever choice parts you pursue, will flourish. Pace yourself on this new journey.

And while at it, remember to continue to smile and dance.

As surely as the sun will rise tomorrow, so shall you thrive. Calm your anxious heart, all is well. These paths are ordained and set before you by one who knows your plans and dreams.

Trust that God has the best intentions for you. He will not be shamed. He will raise you so His name will be glorified.

I celebrate you and keep you at Heart and in my Prayers.

Always

A wedding without a Best man would probably look a little strange. Just like a maid of Honor, the Best man walks the last days of singlehood into the first hours of marriage and if all goes well, walks the journey of marriage with the couple. It is expected that the Best man is a confidant to the groom as well as the couple.

The process of finding one may be easy if it is something the groom has been thinking about but can equally be tasking because it isn’t an easy decision to make.

As one walks down the aisle, it is with the best man by his side.

My parents got wedded in church when I was 13 years of age. I witnessed every bit of their preparation towards this day. My god mother was maid of honor to my mother and I know they had shared a friendship which goes on to date. Another friend and neighbour of my mother made her gown and wedding cake. I knew the women who surrounded my mother all so well.

My father’s best man on the hand, I didn’t have enough information on todate. My father had a number of colleagues and acquaintances all of whom didn’t make it to best man status.

Mr. Egwel, a man from Lira walked down the aisle with my father. They laughed I remember and talked quite a bit. It was beautiful. Whatever their relationship, it transcended optics and knowing the sort of man my father was, Egwel was a good man.

Years ago, around this timing of the calendar, I and my little sister were taken out of school to see my father and I believe say good bye to him as a few days later on 4th March he passed into glory.

Today, 28th February 2023, I woke to my sister announcing on the family platform that Mr. Egwel has passed.

I think of the timing and many things go through my head. I know that today the groom and best man meet in Glory. I believe they have done that wedding walk once again.

May Mr. Egwel, My Father’s Best Man rest in Eternal Glory.

#WinterABC2021

This week has got me thinking of my sisters and brothers in advocacy. And so today I will share them with you complete with their scars and medals for all they have done for many who may never know them.

Ivan Bwow. This one happened to be caught up in Iceland during the first wave of Covid. He was in that group that was locked out with the shut down of air transport. Bwowe started a campaign to get back home. First by demanding the university get in touch with the government of Uganda to explore their return then going ahead to connect the 2. He then kept social media abreast of the steps both government and his university were taking until he and his other Ugandan classmates were put on a flight. While under quarantine, Bwowe challenged the costs of living, the food as well as the extra night the hotel expected the occupants to pay for because results by government had delayed. I salute you Brother. On coming out he is the human who challenged the UCC social media guidelines in court towards elections and probably saved all of us.

Arinitwe Scovia. This one has the calling of visiting everyone who has been arrested. She also knows how to join in on the arrested team incase she knows it will help those taken. I can’t count how many times people have run off and Scovia hs been left standing and speaking out to the system. During the chapati burning spree, she was one of the arrested. I remember that she was sprayed with tear gas for no reason along side the other arrested ones. Kudos.

My Samwyiri and Sam SamBanz. Unafraid of speaking truth to power. These two are social media influences who don’t just push content but use their spaces to challenge impunity. Theirs is a cause and not another career. I remember the former was among the chapati burners and he was taken because he happened to be influencing the press conference. They are rarely celebrated for their work and I hope more of us can do so.

Esther Kalenzi and the work she does under 40/40. Getting more children to read, building classrooms and dormitories and pushing for social change through quizes and talks for many middle class young people so that they can pay attention to today’s challenges. Esther runs a social enterprise that is contributing to increased literacy among young people and I celebrate you.

There is my lovely Karamagi Andrew. Grabber of the Attorney Generals speech. We have very few people who are willing to dare the system in the open. This one does it as easily as he takes in oxygen and for that reason I will not say more about him.

To everyone who has pushed for better, this blog celebrates you. Advocacy is about wanting more and better and there is no law against this.

#WinterABC2021

There are skills needed for one to be able to advocate. These are needed irrespective of whether the efforts are successful or not.

First is the art if communication. Many a time we assume that just because we can speak, we can communicate. Far from it. For the process to be successful, there out to be feedback and understanding by the parties. I remember a time we were trying to convince a section of government that the unemployment rates in Uganda stood at 83% and they were determined to convince us it was at 11%. At the beginning we were all simply pushing our figures until we sought the Why on both sides that gave us clarity.

Advocacy can be time consuming. There is never a timeline to follow. So it is safer to work with milestones otherwise you may go grey on the job.

In advocacy, map the skills you have on the team. The communicators, the researchers, the activists, legal support teams, the thinkers all play different roles. If you asked the street activists to sit down and think, it is probably to waste them. If you asked the researchers to hit the streets, that may be futile. All play a key role on the journey.

As we advocate, it’s important to map out power centres. Who has power and is influential, who has power and isn’t influential, who is influential but has no power, who is influential and has power . Who do we need, who do we communicate to, who do we inform, who do we work with are all key. Many times we don’t map out power and end up without results. In advocacy, its important to strike the power towers for change to happen.

At times advocacy is exhausting but it’s results are definitely worthwhile.

I have been part of a number of efforts and they are the reason I probably sleep better at night

WinterABC2021

Yesterday I started the weeks challenge by stating that when we advocate, we can do so for, by and with. Advocacy is also not necessarily tied to politics and overthrow or government. Today I am reminded of a time I was in a taxi, the 14 seat passenger public transport van commonly used by Ugandans.

Along Kampala Road, precisely around former National Water former headquarters, a drunk man stumbled onto the taxi and in his drunken stupor fell down and blacked out.

At that moment, we were immediately surrounded by traffic police men who insisted the driver had knocked the drunk man. As you have guessed, all the passengers disembarked and went on to board other taxis.

It was a Sunday and I really had nothing to do so I sat down and waited. The police officers asked the driver to take the drunk man to the nearby IMC clinic on Kitgum house which is a private facility which they quickly did. The officers also got into the taxi. When we reached Kitgum House, because we couldn’t make a U turn we had to park on the opposite side. The driver and conductor were then instructed to carry this drunk man across the road to the clinic which they did.

The drunk was put on a drip probably to reduce his alcohol concentration and the driver and conductor returned to the officers waiting by the van. At the point the officers realised that there was a passenger who was still sitted. They encouraged me to disembark and take another taxi.

I politely told them that I was the oy witness they had to the crime and so I wasn’t going anywhere. They were visibly shocked and said my time would be wasted bla bla. I told them I really had nothing urgent to go to.

They then told the driver to go to Kira Road Police to which I asked them why we were going that far yet Jinja Road Police was closer to the crime scene. I also lamented as to why we had to take a drunk who had knocked the van to a private facility yet we could have taken him to Naguru Friendship Public Hospital. Once again they asked why I was still in the van.

They then attempted to take the drivers licence and van keys to which I asked them under what law that was.

One then asked the driver to go speak to them privately. As a key witness I followed to the annoyance of the officers. I also told the driver that if he paid anything I was going to report him to the nearest police for bribery

After a long time, an angry group of officers and a driver and conductor were stuck between a random mad client and the police, the officers warned us and told us to drive away.

I was profusely thanked by the driver and conductor for saving their money and saving their van. I told them that it was important that they understand a few traffic regulations to avoid such incidents in the future.

They drove me to my destination free of charge and blessed me as I went.

I bet the officers were cursing me.

#WinterABC2021 Week 2

We burnt a Police station with Chapati

Advocacy can manifest in three ways. You can advocate for, By or With. This simply means that as you push an issue it can be through the three avenues.

I live for advocacy as my existence is really around fighting injustice. Some times it will get you into trouble, other times you will go home safe. Some times you will have results, other times it will be a lesson to learn.

I don’t remember the issue we were pushing for but a couple of my friends decided to hold a presser. I later got called to be told they had been arrested. I rushed to Jinja Road Police Station and found them on a police pick up complaining and quoting the law to a very unbothered police.

A few minutes later they were speedily driven off. Because of the traffic situation, the Lawyer, advised us to follow on different motor bikes. We had been told that they were being taken to court.

On reaching Court, the police van made a U turn and sped off. I and about 2 other friends got onto other bikes and continued the following. About an hour later we were still going following the police van.

That was the era of crime presenters who told us that whereas we had a case to answer, they were not prepared for prisoners. We then had to go to the next town to find food, socks and toiletries for our colleagues

On returning we found a change in guard who pepper sprayed us. We ended up In a nearby garden because we were unable to see where we were going.

The arrested Lot were taken to Mukono court and were charged with attempted burning of the police station with chapati. The case was dismissed 6 months later because there was no evidence and no exhibit to present to the court.

Advocacy…….

#WINTERABC2021

No the root aren’t your genetic build. Whether one’s creativity is in the hands or legs or mouth, I believe it all stems from the head.

The Brain facilitates our creativity. I once told a friend that just ad we exercise our bodies bodies build muscle, the same goes for the brain. And so I am passionate about brains that work out.

I once came across a quote that said, ” To be with a wise man and not speak to him is to waste the man. To be with a foolish one and speak is to waste words. A wise person wastes neither men nor words.

That said I fall in saucepans and over my head when I encounter intelligence. The brain has a way of dealing with knowledge and people in an artistic way in the event that its your creative juice.

There are creatives who I could speak of all night because of what comes out of their mouths. They dream and I exclain at how a thought that brilliant could have come from anyone. An intelligence that has the perfect answer to every situation.

Brainy people are creatures in their own right.

Day 3/22 WINTERABC2021

Whereas Creatives are much celebrated, their or should I say our woes are quite vivid. In this blog, I shall explore different creatives and their frustrations.

Andrew Pacutho once told me he is tired of Civil Society people who call him a camera man yet he would appreciate the title, “photographer “. I laughed out loud because I was very guilty. He then went on to lament about people he takes pictures of at functions and they insist on seeing every picture taken. Again, I was guilty. I made a mental note to be more aware.

Sanyu once walked into my office. I find comfort in seeing books around me as I go about me work. In whatever state. At that point, they looked more chaotic than organised and every morning she passed, greeted and asked what my plan was. A month later I knew that if I didn’t do something, we were going to have a talk. Structured creatives struggle with happily unstructured happy ones like us and bambi it’s a real problem.

Alex and Frank are work out instructors. On several occasions I have woken up very happy. That happiness that makes my attention fly and I have no regard. Those work out days are frustrating for the two. I can see it on their faces. They genuinely want me to have my footwork perfect and my body in sync. Alas, everything is total opposite of their moves. Later in the day I reflect on their patience and how horrible a student I was.

I work for an institution that has creativity at the core. Once I was asked to take lead in decor and I am not sure what had my mind pre occupied. I ordered for lime green and other ridiculous color for chair covers. Joan, the fashionista simply asked me what I was upto and quickly rectified the issue. The pictures would have been such a disaster. Its no wonder many creatives choose to be lone wolves

Everyone of the people I live next to has natural hair. Their hair seems to be in place everyday. I don’t understand how that happens. They have tried to educate me but there are days I wake up and my hair has a mind of her own. My neighbours have learned that on such days, to wish me a good day and not sat anything about the hurricane on my head.

I believe if creatives could, they would beat us all into their order whether organised or chaotic. Unfortunately for them, it’s not that easy

I live with the Queen of Creativity. I see her everywhere I go. Whether or not she is around, I see her. It’s on the walls and the art and the scents and the everything. I live with the Mother of Creativity.

It’s both good and bad days. I get inspiration directly from the source and at times I take the praise on her behalf and it feels good.

And then there’s the bad days when I look and wonder what happened to me. Why can’t I match colors that well. Why can’t I be as artistic. If art was my pass to a meal, I would be dead from hunger. And so there are days I sit down and say naye God, did I miss the Creative adding room before I came to earth. Was I that much in a hurry?

And at that point I stop, and I am grateful I live with the Queen. Because from her table really, there’s plenty to draw from. From the art of creating spaces, Sanyu has taught me beauty is soothing. From her love of plants, I have also started to advice people that they need plants although mine seem to be on a dying spree but I will get there.

Through Qweshunga which is an art and play space, I have learnt the art of hosting, the art of moderation, which by the way I do a lot. More importantly I have learned to play. That even in the serious, there is time to play and laugh.

Sanyu’s home is a mini forest and mini flower garden. In there are herbs thrown here and there. It reminds me of the genes I missed from my mother who I stole flowers for from the nearby church. Her garden was as radiant as Penny’s and so with every space she creates, I am reminded of my mother.

Creatives like Sanyu Penelope give us a peace and serenity through their work that we would never be able to get eveb if we were paid because those juices just escaped us in heaven. Creatives allow us to enjoy life and a bit of heaven here on earth.

And so every where I turn I think to myself, this is soooo Sanyu or if Sanyu was here this would be a perfect clean wall for her to pour her color and bring a little heaven to that space.

Creatives are God’s way of telling us that there is much more to life than we can imagine

Blog1/22 #WinterABC2021 challenge

This first day of the challenge falls under the Creative cluster. When I saw it my head quickly run back to the time we weren’t allowed to move. At that time all I did with Bora was sit down and select our movies for the day then figure out our one meal for the day.

On one of the evenings, about 6.30pm, I began to get agitated. My system was officially tired of being home. I quickly got up and decided that I needed to go for a walk to clear my head. Bora reminded me that the LDUs would soo be out and I didn’t want them to find me on the road. But I needed to just go out. After 15 minutes of pondering, my entire system of wisdom decided that I needed to go out for my walk despite 7pm being the start of curfew.

In the early lockdown days, the security officers were quite ruthless. The Local Defence Units and Crime Preventers were worse. The stories we heard about what happened to those found on the road after 7pm were harrowing.

And yet, here I was, in all my splendour at 6.45pm determined to go for a walk🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️. I got to the trading centre about 6.55 and walked in the opposite direction of the police. Gratefully taking in oxygen and freedom. I can almost feel the relief. And then booooommmm…..

Suddenly everyone on the road was running 🏃‍♀️ in the direction I had walked to and shouting that the LDUs were coming up. Of course I couldn’t run up because home was in the opposite direction and so I turned anc started to walk towards where everyone else was running from.

My heart was in my lungs or probably the feet as I saw a throng of green uniforms running towards me with canes, guns and batons. In my mind, I silently told the heavens to receive me. I was sure that I was about to be caned or worse still arrested. Shops had suddenly been closed and there was no life on the street. It was after 7pm.

I saw an LDU running towards me and I believe since his friends saw I was his, they run past me. Just as he was about to I don’t even know do what to me, the Lord saved me and he fell into a nearby trench.

Being a child of the most High, I quickly bent and helped him pick up his gun while telling him how sorry I was he had fallen and if I could help. He got up, said thank you, took his gun and shouted at whoever was coming to leave me alone.

I quickly rushed home with my heart in my hands and narrated to Bora what had just happened. All she said was, “But didn’t I tell you?”

The next day I told her we needed to secure ourselves before we got beaten because it was only a matter of time. That is the day I purposed to start visiting the nearby police station.

By the time lock down was lifted, I was on first name basis with the entire police team plus the LDU leader and his unit leaders.

We had also shared meals and celebrated labor day and Menstrual Health day together. We had eaten home made cake and pizza and I was being allowed to drive around and warm the car while other people replaced their batteries.

Call it whatever you want but for the sake of never having to feel that way again, I needed every officer in my community to recognise me and call me by name.